I have a health problem: It’s called SPHS — Spontaneous Procrastinative Hunger Syndrome.
It’s very serious.
Basically, whenever I have a lot on my to-do list, and I’m not quite sure what to tackle next, I get hungry.
Not for just anything.
Usually, I get hungry for something that I don’t have in the fridge. Something that would require a trip to the store, and (if the to-do list is particularly complex) cooking.
Often, it’s a multi-pan affair. Something going on the stovetop, while something else heats in the oven, with several mixing bowls, measuring cups, knives, and cutting boards to match, all of which need cleaning before I can get back to my to-do list (obviously).
The problem for people who suffer from SPHS is that the food never quite hits the spot (because you weren’t hungry in the first place). Instead, you spend a bunch of time only to find yourself standing there two or three hours later, tired(er), to-do list still undone, and that much less time left in the day.
Doesn’t matter. The disease persists.
Today, the craving was cake.
I don’t even like cake. But as I was working I had a turkey cooking down into stock on the stove, and something about the smell reminded me of the first hint of a cake that’s been in the oven for a few minutes.
The SPHS stirred.
My better brain objected. It might have even prevailed. But then my other disease, SPCS, kicked in.
If you haven’t heard of it, SPCS is short for Spontaneous Procrastinative Chore Syndrome. Basically, that’s a condition where you think of little chores you can do that feel useful but actually just distract you from the thing you’re supposed to be working on.
It’s not fatal (though it can be for your career).
Anyways, I have both of these. And the sum result was that this afternoon, I was craving cake, trying to resist a trip to the supermarket, when I suddenly remembered the supermarket is next to the hardware store, and the hardware store sells fireplace logs, and I’m kind of low on fireplace logs, so if I go to get cake stuff, I can get fireplace logs too, and then it’s not a distraction but a very useful trip.
Plus I end up with cake at the end.
I won’t bury the lead here: I’m not eating cake right now.
I made my way to the hardware store, perused the aisles for fireplace logs, all the while thinking about what kind of cake I should make, and what would be involved in that. Cracking the eggs, mixing batter, filling pans (oh, I need pans).
And as I did, a voice appeared in my head.
“You’re going to do all that,” it said, “just to make yourself feel better about this to-do list which is out of control?”
I paused as the thought occurred to me.
“Would you rather make cake? Or progress?”